A course on writing

A course on writing

 

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> Good writing is clear. It conveys what it is trying to say effectively. If the reader has to struggle to figure it out, that's failed writing. Good writing avoids unnecessary abstract concepts or pedantic jargon. Good writing does not sound grandiose.

 

Evaluate the Analects -- the most revered text in the East -- by that standard.

 

> Oh.

 

> The Analects is terrible writing.

 

Cool. Clearly you're not the type who is overwhelmed by authority. You're an independent thinker. But I'm also an independent thinker not overwhelmed by authority. You're a teacher, and that doesn't mean you're right. I will not simply accept your bigotry on good writing.

 

> Oh.

 

> So what do you think is good writing?

 

I'm figuring it out. I'm going to experiment. I will write two pieces. One that tries to be as clear as possible, and the other the opposite. Let's see.

 

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Writing A.

 

The writing teacher sucks.

 

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Writing B.

 

I have been writing my entire life. It's my only hobby, my soul, and the meaning of my life.

 

It feels spiritual to create lines of thought that are obscure, abstract, dizzy, ambiguous, ambivalent, hard to decipher, full of irony and paradoxes, that don't easily resolve to a simple single point. I create puzzles that are unsolvable, proving my sophistication as a superior being.

 

But one day, this writing teacher brought up a rather different idea -- an insulting idea, actually -- that downplayed my philosophy on writing. I refused to simply succumb. I challenged him with a counterexample -- the most revered text in the East -- that is the Analects. How is he going to react?

 

> The Analects is terrible writing.

 

Oh.

 

So he is stronger than I thought. However, just like Goku from Dragon Ball, I'm a Saiyan. A stronger opponent fills me with more excitement. By the way, Dragon Ball is the second most revered text in the East.

 

And this is my move. Just like Goku, I gathered life energy from all spirits in the universe.

 

EVERYBODY, SHARE WITH ME A TINY, TINY PORTION OF YOUR ENERGY!!!

 

Just kidding. I'm not Goku. I'm Vegeta. I'm the prince of the Saiyans, full of pride. I'm not a beggar. I don't need the tiny useless energy from mediocre beings. I'm an independent, self-sufficient thinker. My writing is solely my own creation, the fingerprint of which is galactic unresolvability.

 

MY GALACTIC UNRESOLVABILITY WILL SHATTER YOU INTO DUST OF THE UNIVERSE, ALONG WITH THE EARTH!!!!!!!

 

So, sensei. Now, what do you feel? What are you gonna say? You now clearly see the galactically unresolvable one is the better one. Does your point on clarity still stand?

 

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> Oh.

 

> So which is the obscure one?